Posted by mcorcoran on May 2, 2013
Meatloaf has moved to Austin. Jazz notable Esperanza Spaulding supposedly lives here, too. Ditto Greg Rolle of Santana and Journey, Iron & Wine’s Sam Beam, Greg Ginn of Black Flag. Glad to have ‘em, but these folks are not to be referred to as “Austin musicians.” It takes more than a ZIP code that starts with 787 to truly be considered a hometown musician. Use this guideline to tell the difference between a musician who lives in Austin and an Austin musician:
Sorry, but you’re not an Austin musician until…
… you’ve been rejected by SXSW, seven years in a row.
… you know your order without looking at the menu of the Tamale House No. 3.
… you’ve played a five-act bill at the Saxon Pub for a piece of the door.
… you’ve worked at Thundercloud.
… David Cotten doesn’t return your phone calls.
… you’ve snuck a case of beer out the back door after a gig.
… you’ve been fired by Bob Schneider.
… you’ve had a keg party at your house to stuff Austin Music Award ballots.
… you’ve looked forward to playing out at the airport because at least that gig pays.
… you’ve paid more for parking than you made that night.
… Raoul Hernandez ignores your friend request.
… you’ve ever spent the night with someone because they have hot water.
… you’ve ever kissed Michael Corcoran’s ass, while muttering “clueless cocksucker” under your breath when he walks away.