Posted by mcorcoran on December 23, 2013
Congradulations on NOT being accepted to South by Southwest! Bigger opportunities await those who hitch they’re wagon to the Inkubation Station Inc. a 401K non-profit designed to give you a leg up on the competition in the music business. Superstars we’ve corresponded with in the past include Beyonce’, Bonno, Sting, Lil’ Wayne, Kings of Leon and Stevie Wonder.
We guarantee at least 25 music business insiders will attend each of our showcases at the Doubletree just south of Ben White during SXSW week. (Many dressed as hotel staff to better blend in.) Radio programmers, record lable presidents, national music critics and more heavyweights will not only catch your set live during SXSW, but listen to our Compilation, with original cover art by nationally known artist, which will be promoted befroe and during SXSW!
Several options for SXSW success fit any and all budgets.
Option A: $250 – Alright you cheapass rookies, we got you Perform a 5-minute set to a beat, which will be provided via email for you to prepare. Will be filmed for release on YouTube. Your name on the official flyer to be placed on the windshield of 2,000 cars downtown, many belonging to major label reps!
Option B: $500 – 10-minute LIVE PERFORMANCE + Name AND photo included on flyer. Your performance will be filmed and posted to the Facebook page of nationally known critic (Askwire) and DJ Andy Langer. Also, an mp3 will be included in the Compilation which will be mailed to 500 radio stations and played from a loudspeaker on the street behind Vino Vino, in the range of studio apartments where many Austin Chronicle critics reside.
Option C: $1,000 – 15-minute LIVE PERFORMANCE at a very special showcase which will be shut down by the police because we don’t have permits. Amateur video footage of the ensuing fracas will be sent to Gawker and become viral. Nationally known publicist Justine Sacko will take it from there and get you booked on the “Judge Judy” show, where you’ll sue us to get the $1,000 back, but you need to check your contract. (“Non-refundable” is our favorite word.)
Option D: *Best Value* $1,500 – Everything in option C, plus an official SXSW “music badge” which allows you free access for the entire week March 10-16 to all workshops, panels, concerts and festivals. Don’t worry if your badge doesn’t scan; all the best networking happens at the fringe events. Your badge lets everyone know you’re a playa, playa! THIS WEEK ONLY: Special “cash only” price $295!