Meatloaf has moved to Austin. Jazz notable Esperanza Spaulding supposedly lives here, too. Ditto Greg Rolle of Santana, Greg Ginn of Black Flag and John Doe. Glad to have ‘em, but these folks are not to be referred to as “Austin musicians.” It takes more than a ZIP code that starts with 787 to truly be considered a hometown musician. Use this guideline to tell the difference between a musician who lives in Austin and an Austin musician:
Sorry, but you’re not an Austin musician until…
… you’ve spent the night with someone because they have hot water.
… Raoul Hernandez ignores your friend request.
… you’ve played a five-act bill at the Saxon Pub for a piece of the door.
… you’ve quit a job at Thundercloud to go out on a tour of San Marcos, San Antonio and, shit, Corpus just canceled.
… you’ve been fired by Bob Schneider.
… you’ve opened your front door for a bassist in a mullet who saw the ad.
… you’ve paid more for parking than you made that night.
… you’ve been a member of Asleep At the Wheel.
… you’ve boosted a case of beer out the back door after a gig.
… a $20 bill in the tip jar saved your life.
Actually, none of the folks mentioned in the first paragraph qualify as Austin musicians because they all have paying gigs…
You get a gig at The Hole in the Wall/Continental Club/Carousel Lounge because your friends are headlining…